How do we learn to create change and live more in alignment with opening up and feeling better? It starts with needing more awareness of how to shift our feelings, thoughts and actions. When we acknowledge wanting more our spiriutal body expands and is open for more connection with other aspects of ourselves mentally, emotionally (heart based) and spiritually. We need more love and compassion for all life on this planet. It begins with us, you, and me. There has been much suffering and mental distortion that has helped fuel and create things we want and things we do not want. Sometimes things happen by default due to how certain emotions take over as a dominant force and this could result in negative, unwanted experiences. I find that emotional intelligence is something that needs to be taught from when we are in our youth. If parents are not aware (because we don't know what we don't know) and the schools systems are certainly not teaching this - how do we create change for the better? Learning how to process thoughts and feelings is paramount to creating harmony in ones life. According to Psychology Today 'Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. Emotional intelligence is generally said to include a few skills: namely emotional awareness, or the ability to identify and name one’s own emotions; the ability to harness those emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes both regulating one’s own emotions when necessary and helping others to do the same'. This type of education is lacking, the ability to discern between thought and emotion and how to balance it all out without exploding into anger or acting in a childish way. This is most needed right now. When we want to work on ourselves to feel better this is where we need to realize that looking at personal responses and how we feel are paramount in creating change for the better. For ourselves, for our family and communities. We are in a timing on this planet to work on our personal stuff, hopefully many are on this path of self responsibility and realization. It is important to not bring the past into the present and to work through conflict and miscommunication with ourselves and with others. I personally believe it is important to address issues that arise within us as soon as we can. Now that is not to say that we spew feelings out without thinking through the best way to deliver it or express it. Rather is an internal process of thinking and feeling that can favour outcomes to solve issues. Also using discernment in thinking and communication is key here. Discernment can be broken down into gaining a perceptive or perception in the absence of judgments and with a view and goal to obtain a clearer understanding. This comes from the heart and soul - our own spiritual essence can and will guide us into some clarity and resolve for ourselves and others. All we need to do is listen and get out of our own way, ha! easier said than done when we are not aware we can change the way we think through personal accountability and problem solving. Personal situations and problem solving is an valuable skill for mental, emotional and spiriutal wellbeing. When an issue/problem, decision or disagreement is playing on your mind or in your heart, and you’re not sure how to approach it, the stress involved can really play on you in big way and most definitely shift your overall mood and demeanor for the worst. This is both in adult and children. Having the skills to resolve personal problems in a logical way that takes your needs into account can be a big help in managing these stressful situations and upgrade your emotions. One way is to use a technique known as ‘structured’ personal problem solving. Structured problem solving is more than a useful strategy that can be applied in a number of situations when dealing with conflict, anxiety, upset, stress or depressive feelings through disagreements in relationships, and trying to reach compromise or common ground or goals. Whether it’s a perceived potential loss of a job or relationship or coping with actual loss itself. Another is conflict, and uncertainty of how to handle things, or wondering if it can be resolved at all. And last but not least is difficulties with children and parenting. We are examples of behaviour to all children and youth…time to be what we wish and want to see in this world. Try some personal problem solving strategies, there are numerous ones to try, such as:
Make a connection between the difficulties you are experiencing and the emotional responses. Make notes and reflect upon them.
Become aware of resources that are available to you to help manage your problems - personal or professional. These can be with many different types of people or professionals. Family, friends, professional counsel and spiritual counsel and insight.
Learn a systematic approach to overcoming your difficulties and apply it.
Regaining a sense of control over problems is such an empowering process.
Develop skills to filter or harness further issues or problems in the future and teach all youth around you.
So what is a strategy to help cope and work through difficulty? Here is an easy 7 Step Process and Strategy to problem solve. Step 1 - Start with taking a deep breath and have faith you can work though anything. Did you know that deep breathing calms you down? It relieves stress and anxiety due to its physiological effect on the nervous system which in turn also reduces the amount of work your heart has to do to oxygenate your blood and so much more!